英译中丨艾尔登法环菈妮对话文本翻译(上)


3楼猫 发布时间:2024-06-14 11:33:47 作者:tonyge Language

本文为基于英文文本翻译的菈妮对话文本,加上了我在翻译过程中对角色本身的一些见解以及对英文文本的理解,以及为何我认为英文文本应该是原版文本(或者英文文本和日文文本是分别单独进行创作的)。
文中在部分游戏中删减或更改的部分对话内容有所选择和删减,以我个人理解进行了筛选,若有想法,欢迎在评论区提出。

正文

This way, Tarnished. May I have a word? 来这边,褪色者 我能跟你说两句吗? A pleasure to meet thee, Tarnished. I am the witch Renna. I'd heard tell of a Tarnished hurtling about atop a spectral steed. And upon looking into the matter, the talk, I surmise, is of thee. Thou'rt possessed of the power, no? To call forth the spectral steed named Torrent. 幸会,褪色者 我是魔女雷娜 我听说有褪色者骑在灵马背上飞驰 经过调查 我推测这个褪色者就是你 你应该有这样的能力吧? 能召唤以托雷特为名的灵魂骏马 Ah. As I had hoped. I was entrusted this, for thee. By Torrent's former master. Tis a bell for calling forth spirits. Summon them with it, from ash unreturned to the Erdtree. The spirits will obey thine command but briefly, as they recall battles past. Now it is thine. To do with as thou wishest. 啊 答得好 我有东西要交给你 是托雷特的前任主人托付于我的 它是一个可以召唤迷失灵魂的铃铛 可以从未回归黄金树的骨灰中,召唤出灵魂 被召唤的灵魂将在短时间内遵循你的命令,以生前的能力战斗 现在它是你的了,随心所欲地使用吧。
Forgive mine intrusion, Tarnished. I doubt we shall again meet. But all the same, learn well the Lands Between. How long will it be, I wonder... Before the Tarnished tire of obeisance to the Two Fingers? 褪色者,打扰了 我想我们应该不会再见了,但尽管如此,也要认真了解交界地的一切啊 我很想知道 你们褪色者会忠于双指到何时?
Trifle not with me, Tarnished. Or didst thou merely forget? The name of the spectral steed thou callest? 褪色者,别想耍我 还是你仅仅是忘记了 那匹灵马的名字?
I will ask thee again. Thou'rt possessed of the power, no? To call forth the spectral steed named Torrent. 我再问你一次 你有这样的能力吧? 召唤以托雷特为名的灵魂骏马?
Quite the stubborn one, aren't we? Wise, in a way. The Lands Between are home to liars and cheats aplenty. Perhaps thine ample mistrust will be to thy benefit. I shall leave this for thee, at the behest of Torrent's former master. Take it, shouldst thou overcome thy suspicion. (
一个坚持要问,一个坚持不答) 我们还真是固执(的人)啊,不是吗? 当然这某种程度上来说是一种智慧。交界地是骗子的天堂,充斥着无数谎言。 或许充斥于你心中的猜疑会对你有利 托雷特前任主人托付的东西,我会留给你 等你不再怀疑我了,便将它拿走吧 (这里出现了我翻译中的第一个aren't we,我一开始以为是咱俩的意思,但其实这里仅描述对方,在结缘牧师米利耶,以及菈妮后面很多的对话中都会出现,语气强调,反问,感叹,讽刺,但都是指褪色者,这好像是英文文本的一个习惯性用法 我自己后来也写了一句,Quite the HOMO LUDENS, aren't we?哈哈哈哈
What hopest thou to profit? ... No sense in arguing, I see. Thou'rt a wild one, indeed. Torrent hath quite the ruffian chosen... ... 你这是要干什么? ... 聊都不愿意聊吗? 我知道了 你实在是个野蛮的人。 托雷特竟选了这么个恶棍 。
Let us speak of the past, a while. I was once an Empyrean. Of the demigods, only I, Miquella, and Malenia could claim that title. Each of us was chosen by our own Two Fingers, as a candidate to succeed Queen Marika, to become the new god of the coming age. But I would not acquiesce to the Two Fingers. I stole the Rune of Death, slew mine own Empyrean flesh, casting it away. I would not be controlled by that thing. The Two Fingers and I have been cursing each other ever since... And the Baleful Shadows...are their assassins. 我想跟你聊聊过去的事儿,就一会 我曾是神人 半神之中只有我、米凯拉和玛莲妮亚能被称作神人 我们被各自的双指选中——作为继承玛莉卡女王神位的候选人,在即将到来的新时代中成神 但是我不愿顺从双指 于是我窃取了死亡卢恩,杀死了自己的神人肉体,并将之抛弃 因为我不愿受那种存在的操控 从那以后,我和双指诅咒彼此 而灾祸之影就是祂们的刺客
Oh, again we cross paths. I believe I said my name was Renna, when last we met. It pleaseth me to see Torrent hale and hearty... But Tarnished, what business hast thou here? I have no memory of inking thee an invitation. 哦,我们又见面了 我记得上回遇见你时我说过我的名字叫蕾娜 很高兴看到托雷特还是那样身强体健 可是褪色者,你是为什么而来 我应该没有发邀请函给你。
Mm? a Tarnished, here? Thou must have some business in mind, to come all this way. Though I have no memory of inking thee an invitation. 哦?在这里竟然能遇到一位褪色者? 你不远千里来到这里,一定有什么事吧? 即便我没有给你发送请帖。 (这里的英文可以用Though放后面,但是中文正确语序应该是:纵然我没有给你发送请帖,你还千里迢迢而来,心里一定有什么事吧?但是要分对话框就会出现这样的语序问题,后面还会遇到很多因为对话框导致的中文翻译可能跟英文对不上的问题,英文是可以把条件后置,但中文条件后置会非常怪。
I see. Quite the sleuth, aren't we. Indeed, I am the witch Ranni. I stole a fragment of the Rune of Death, and used it to forge the godslaying black knives through fearsome rite. I did it all. But sadly for thee, the cursemark thou seekest is not to be found here. I have slain the body I was born into, and cast it away. And it is upon that flesh the cursemark is carved. 原来如此,调查得可真仔细(还真是个大侦探啊) 没错,我就是魔女菈妮 我曾窃走一块死亡卢恩碎片,并通过可怕的仪式将之锻造成了弑神的黑刀 这些都是我做的 (暗示黑刀之夜) 但不幸的是,你苦苦追寻的咒痕并不在此 我已经杀死我原本的肉体并将之抛弃 而那咒痕,正是刻印在那具躯体之上 (这里我很想把第一句写成:你还真是个大侦探啊,啊?带点嘲讽,感叹的感觉。
Hah! And why should I reveal that to thee? I performed the act not to bury the past, nor in shame of the deed, but all the same, thy begging compels me not a jot. 哈 我为什么非得告诉你? 我保守这个秘密不是为了埋葬自己的过去,也不是为那样的行为感到耻辱 但不管怎样,你恳求的话语不能改变我分毫 (什么谜语人,到底到底还是没说出为什么不告诉你咒痕在哪。只告诉你一些防止你误解她的信息。in shame译为蒙羞,蒙羞指蒙受耻辱
The cursemark thou seekest is not here. That is all I will say. Now, begone. 你苦苦追寻的咒痕并不在此,我言尽于此 好了,滚吧! (走开吧) (Now可以是连接语,指用以引出后面的话、改变口气、加强语气或表示安慰、惊奇、恐吓、命令、请求、责备等。begone这词的老用法可太狠了,直接就是滚蛋吧,或者走开吧。后面还有个be gone分开的用法,指的又是消失,消亡的意思,但读起来是一样的,这是英文的神奇之处
Oh, is that so? Thou wouldst render me aid, is that thy proposal? Affording thyself opportunity to grope about for the cursemark's location, no doubt? ... 哦,这样啊 你愿意为我提供帮助,这就是你的提议? 你觉得这样能有机会去搜寻咒痕的位置?并且很可能成功? (这又是个英文长定语/状语,还后置了,Thou wouldst render me aid, is that thy proposa-l affording thyself opportunity to grope about for the cursemark's location, no doubt?)然后这个no doubt用来表示opportunity的成功几率,长定语解释proposal,但是游戏用对话框一分开,就变奇怪了。这里是ing形式的afford先作定语描述proposal,再用to grope不定式描述 opportunity,最后用no doubt描述这个事儿的概率是很大可能。简直了,离谱。) 后来我又翻译了一版不要对话框的: 哦,这样啊 你愿意为我提供帮助(做事)? 这就是你为了找到咒痕所在而想出来的提议? (但其实“很可能”这个意思没被翻译出来
Very well... There's nothing wrong with a well-laid scheme. What's more, if my past and past wounds beckon to thee, I am curious enough to see what thy destiny portends... I'll allow it. Enter my service. And good hunting to thee. 也好 多一个做事的人(一个更周密的计划)没什么不好的 更重要的是,若是我的过去和那伤痕在引导(召唤)着你 我不禁想知道你的命运预示着什么 我准许你替我做事了 祝你狩猎愉快(祝你马到成功) (well-laid scheme是周密的计划的意思,是个挺固定的用法。有一首小诗罗伯特 彭斯写的《致老鼠》:The best laid schemes o'mice an'men Gang aft agley.形容人算不如天算
Hah! No reason in particular, thou claimest? Intriguing. Then mayhaps fate hath steered thee to this reunion. Intriguing. Then mayhaps fate hath steered thee to this encounter. 哈! 你说没什么特别的理由? 真有趣,那么这次重逢,可以说是命运的安排了 (忠于英文:那么这就是一次命中注定的重逢了) 真有趣,那么这次相遇,可以说是命中注定了 (忠于英文:那么这就是一次命中注定的相遇了) (这里的“相遇”我本来翻译成“邂逅”,但是其实菈妮这会完全没往那块想,而且这里的对比只是看你之前是否遇到过菈妮,并没有很“暧昧”的感觉)
Wilt thou enter into my service? I am the witch Ranni. I stole Death long ago, and search now for the dark path. That I might one day upend the whole of it, and rid the world of all that came before. Well? Has that roused thy interest? 汝可愿效忠于我? 我是魔女菈妮,很久以前曾窃走死亡,而如今,我想走上一条黑暗的道路 这是一条舍弃一切的的道路。终有一日,我会颠覆它。 怎么样?这是否引起了你的兴趣呢? (这里我的理解,英文的That
是描述dark path的定从,菈妮要颠覆这条路,先要走上这条路,而这条路又是抛弃世间一切,陷入黑暗,绝望,彷徨和孤独的道路。法环的故事关于菈妮,根本没写完,她是开拓者,但她开拓的故事刚刚开始,褪色者的故事就业已结束,就如同只狼中去遥远的西方找到斩断不死的真正方法一般,老贼把希望寄于未来,看向遥远的西方和遥远的宇宙。) (连起来的英文: I search now for the dark path that I might one day upend the whole of it. 后半句的rid的主语是dark path,但菈妮走上了这条路所以主语是她也是合理的,但前半句的upend主语一定是I也就是菈妮,原本的中文翻译根本没翻出这个意思来,这条路的最终目的是让黑暗变得光明,但你先得深入黑暗,才有可能点亮黑暗,这里其实表达已经很科幻了,你要去开拓,才有黑暗中的点点星光。最后面还有很多表达这个点的句子,这里先说到这。)
I see. A choice well made. Thou'rt a rare sort. Not many would have accepted the offer. But I require as much of those under my command. I anticipate good work from thee. 我知道了。不错的抉择 你还真是个奇人,能接受这样提议的人可不多见 但我却正需要将这样的人尽可能多地纳入麾下 期待你今后的表现(不是哥们,你这句又根据英文翻了?yo lo xi ku o ne gai呢?) (第三句的这个原翻译我直接????啥叫“我的门槛也不过如此啊?” 这段的原翻译简直莫名其妙,我不知道翻译的时候发生了什么翻这么大的车。
I see. More's the pity. Come to me again, shouldst thou change thy heart. Surrendering thyself into the service of a doll-witch... Is not as frightful as thou fearest... 我知道了。真遗憾 不过等你改变心意了,再回来找我也不迟 在玩偶魔女麾下俯首称臣 可能也没你想得那么可怕哟 (这里想到一首歌的歌词《False Confidence》有一句Surrender yourself于是去网易云看了一眼翻译——让你俯首称臣,然后就用上了。后面菈妮也有句Surrender myself,我记得那个不太好翻译。
Ah, art thou persuaded to my cause? Then, again I shall ask, wilt thou enter into my service? 啊,你改变心意了吗? 那么,我再问你一次,你愿意加入我的麾下吗? (这边解释一下吧,service可以是组织,企业的意思,其实就是加入菈妮的小组织,这可不是什么雇佣兵, “替她做事”,而是正规军——成为她组织内的一员。给几个搭配词语: in sb's service :在某人家里做佣人 enter the service 入伍; 参加工作 engage services of sb. 聘某人担任工作 in service 作帮工, 在军中服役, 在使用中) 所以你要理解成成为菈妮的仆人也不是不可以。
Good, then I ask we proceed with haste. There is, in my service, a half-wolven warrior by the name of Blaidd. I would have thee join him in searching for the hidden treasure of Nokron, the Eternal City. I have called for Blaidd to greet thee below. Take from him the particulars. Ah, and there wilt thou find Iji, my war counselor, and Seluvis, preceptor in the sorcerous arts, also. Heed not their peculiarities; feel secure in gaining from them what advantage thou canst. I am sure the others will be doing just the same. 很好,我们事不宜迟,这就开始吧 我的麾下有一名名为布莱泽的半狼战士 我要你和他一同去寻找永恒之城诺克隆恩的秘密宝藏 我已经让布莱泽在下面和你见面。去他那了解详情吧 啊,对了,军师伊吉和魔法教授塞尔维斯应该也在。 他们有点异于常人,不过不必在意,有必要时善加利用吧 我相信他们也不会客气的 (这里的proceed with haste 是个好词,haste是个中性词,也就是既可以用作急躁,也可以用作做事又快又好,这里是个褒义,More haste, less speed. 英文的欲速则不达中就是贬义。peculiarities指的是怪癖,奇怪的特质。
Speak with the three who await thee below. Thou needst not indulge them unduly, but they too wish to appraise thy worth. It hath been a passing long time since a newcomer entered my service, after all. 与在下方等待的三人聊聊吧 不要求你完全听信他们,但你免不了受他们打量 毕竟很久都没有新人加入了
Good, then I ask we proceed with haste. Art thou aware of the star that struck Limgrave? It left a vast crater, and through it lieth the Eternal City of Nokron. Go there to find the city's hidden treasure. 很好,我们事不宜迟,这就开始吧 你知道坠落在宁姆格福的那颗星星吗? 它留下了一个巨大的坑,穿过巨坑就是永恒之城,诺克隆恩 到那里去寻找那座城的秘密宝藏吧
Ah, yes. Iji, my war counselor, and Seluvis, preceptor in the sorcerous arts, can be found below. Like thee, they are in my service. Heed not their peculiarities; feel secure in gaining from them what advantage thou canst. I am sure the others will be doing just the same. 啊,对了。军师伊吉和魔法教授塞尔维斯应该在楼下,他们也是我麾下的帮手。 他们有点异于常人,不过不必在意,有必要时善加利用吧 我相信他们也不会客气的
Speak with the three who await thee below. Thou needst not indulge them unduly, but they too wish to appraise thy worth. It hath been a passing long time since a newcomer entered my service, after all. 与在下方等待的三人聊聊吧 不要求你完全融入,但你免不了受他们打量 毕竟很久都没有新人加入了
Ah, allow me to forewarn thee. I shall soon enter my slumber. And it will be some time before I wake. This doll's body is not without its hindrances... Still, I have high hopes for thee. I look forward to the good news when I arise. 啊对了,我要先告诉你一件事 我很快就会陷入沉睡 短时间内不会醒来 人偶的身体并非没有缺陷 但我对你寄予厚望 我期待醒来时能听到好消息
I shall soon enter my slumber. And it will be some time before I wake. I have high hopes for thee. I look forward to the good news when I arise. 我很快就会陷入沉睡 短时间内不会醒来 我对你寄予厚望 我期待醒来时能听到好消息
上篇就到这了,挺长的,但其实并没有太多剧情相关的内容,菈妮的主要剧情大部分集中在后半部分她揭示真相,解释自己的理想的那个地方。前面大部分时候其实她都把你看作一个仆人,并没有想到你能成为她的王。而上篇有几个官方中文翻译我认为有争议的地方,我都标出来了。在她说到upend the dark path的时候,翻译并没有给出来。难道是老贼和马丁的文本冲突了?老贼就是想要彻底的dark,而马丁给了另一个答案?这些问题都会在下篇再次出现,我也会在下篇讲一下我认为正确的答案。究竟是颠覆黑暗之路,给世间自由和光明,还是让世界永陷绝望、彷徨和孤独,菈妮的伟大和梅琳娜的伟大,不同之处在哪。 老贼在癫火、黄金律法、星星时代三个结局中给出的三个选择究竟有何不同。下篇会给出一点我的解释。

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